Akuma
by ViolaStar246
Summary: No life. No home. No name. The life of an akuma is the same over and over again. It uses one word. Kill. That is, until you meet Cross Marian. And that little world of death suddenly sprouts a little life.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This fan fiction is all my own. My own ideas and plot. Well, it's actually, D. Gray Man's plot. There are a lot of fan fictions told from the view of an exorcist, but not very many from an akuma's. But that might be because they were like dead, sad souls acting like killing machines. So I thought back to a chapter I read in D. Gray Man. There was an akuma that Cross had somewhat tamed. I don't really remember her name, but there was. That's where I got this idea from. What if I wrote a story from the perspective of an akuma being rehabilitated? And this is the outcome. I hope you enjoy this story! Constructive criticism is always welcome, just not too harsh please.  
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**Chapter 1**

I am an akuma. I had no name. And I had no life. The only thing I enjoyed were the screams of the people I killed. I heard them every day. My days passed on and on like a rerun. That was until I met Cross.

I was out, hungry for blood. At level 3, I was hungrier than ever. I wanted to hear the screams. I needed it. I was about to strike a lonely beggar on the street when a searing pain burned through my back. I fell to the ground in agony. Slowly, I felt the pain decrease and the bullet holes become visible to my blurry eyes.

"Impressive," I heard a voice mutter behind me, "Most akuma your level would've died from those shots."

I slowly turned my head, knowing that the voice behind me would be the legendary Cross. He was there. He held his Judgement close to his head, preparing for his next shot. I lunged for him, knowing that I would die. This was Cross Marian. My arm propelled forward, right towards his smug face. He jumped and dodged. It all looked too easy for him. He let another one fly, straight for my chest. The impact was shocking. I crumpled onto the ground and glared at him. I could feel the world crumbling around me and my mind passed through a tunnel. All was black.

_I was kneeling at the base of a gravestone. Tears were streaming down my face, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Every breath came out broken and ragged. I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder. _

_ "It'll be okay. It will just take some time," the voice said softly. It would never be okay ever again. The voice was a liar. I swung my arm back angrily and the impact ran through my body as I hit something. Flesh on flesh._

_ "I hate you! It's your fault! It's always your fault! Die, die, die!" I shouted at the top of my lungs and continued madly swinging at the person. But it didn't work. I was just carried away, back to my own small room. I was just left alone to wallow. I was just left to die. _

_ I thought the walls were closing in on me. I was crazy. The clock continued to tick my life away. Tick, tick, tick. And every hour it would ring a bit, then stop, and then tick again. Tick, tick, tick. It rang through my head. I spent my time crying. Shaking. And pounding my fists on the hard wooden floor until the flesh started to split. On the fourth night, someone came in to bandage my hands. But then he left and never came back. As for food, it was always delivered to me at the same time everyday from a slot through the door. I remembered that I saw somewhere on TV that they did that in prison. Was I in prison?_

_It was my dad. My smiling, happy dad. The most amazing person in my life. He died. It was actually a sunny day. He probably would've liked to die on a nice and misty day. A more mysterious and gloomy atmosphere seems so much more fitting of a day for someone to die. We were playing outside. The green field spread so far, I couldn't see the city we lived in anymore. It was so nice to be away from that. _

_I had wanted to run away when I was 6. I wanted to get away from all the smiling people. The fakers, I called them. My mother was the owner of a prestigious cosmetics company. She wasn't what I called an evil step-mom. Or even a mean mom. But she didn't care. She never truly wanted me. Luckily, my dad cared more for me than my mom ever could have. We lived in a very big house. Some people may have called it a mansion. I called it a prison. I hated the gleaming white walls, and the black marble floors in the grand entry way. Hundreds of people were waited on me, listening to my every order. I once told them to help me run away. Of course, my plans were stopped there._

_My dad got a phone call. He walked over to the side and put the phone to his ear. The colour immediately disappeared from his face. I was confused. I ran over to him, wondering what was wrong. He muttered something about how we had to go now. I followed him to the car for the long drive back home. I kept pestering him about what that was about. I was 12. I should've known better._

"_Just quiet!" he yelled so suddenly, I stepped back. It was the first time he yelled at me, and I didn't like it. I shut up for the rest of the ride home. When we arrived back, I knew something was wrong. Everyone was really quiet. Their eyes gave everything away. Gray and black. Still, I didn't bother anyone too much and continued on as if I didn't know anything. _

_That night, my dad kissed me on the forehead and said good night. He left the room in silence and I couldn't help looking at him. He stood in the hallway, tall and broad. The light was left on and added a long shadow to my father. He walked slowly to the light and turned it off. _

_I was back in my dark room. It was the seventh night and I started to ease off the pounding. It hurt. The clock gave a little ring and I knew it was 12:00am. I hated everything. I curled up into a ball and waited for my world to stop. Instead, I felt another hand on my shoulder. But this time, when I looked up, it was the Earl._

Cross stood with the gun down, and a hand on my shoulder. I was crying. I didn't know that I could cry. I felt limp.

"I will name you Kumiko Child," Cross Marian whispered in a quiet voice. I liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Hope you like this new chapter! **

**Chapter 2**

_The wind whispered to me what no one else would. Everyone else was silent. They were like robots, ordered to not speak. Ordered to serve. They looked at me like they were sorry for me. But they weren't. I ran outside to the sun beating down on me. The sky was clear blue and there was not a cloud in sight. It made it just that much worse. I fell to the ground, the rough dirt brushing up on my skin. Tears stained my cheeks, but when I reached up to touch them, I felt nothing. Two maids came out in their black and white outfits to bring me back inside. They held me and tried to carry me back inside._

"_What happened? Please, please tell me! Tell me now!" I ordered. They just looked at each other and shook their heads. Ordered not to speak. I tried to get free from their grasp, but they just brought more people to help carry me back inside. One servant looked at me with sad eyes. For a second, I thought he really cared. But then he lifted me up with a heave and brought me inside. They put me in my bedroom and locked the doors. _

_I walked over to my windows and pushed them open. The wind rushed inside, excited to fill the humid room. I stuck my head out of the window, letting the wind blow over me. It felt good against my face. I thought I could trust it._

"_You dad's dead," it sang to me softly. And I cried._

I walked beside him. I actually _walked _beside him. I didn't attack him, or jump on him, and neither did he. We just walked in silence beside each other. I was in my human form. I was a young girl. I had long, black bangs that almost covered my piercing eyes. My hair was cut at my slender shoulders. This wasn't how I really looked like. I lost that memory long ago.

"Are you going to try and tame me?" I asked him in a quiet voice.

"Nope," he simply answered. We arrived at the place that Cross was staying. It was a rundown motel with a broken sign hanging off its front. It was the kind of place that you would think people were killed in.

"Is this your home?"

"I travel," Cross replied, "And right now, this is where I am." I nodded and walked into the old building. I ducked underneath a rotten piece of wood hanging off the top of the entrance and stepped over...something to get into the dingy room. The room was barely lit by a small light bulb that hung precariously from the ceiling. There was a couch in the centre of the room that was ripped with stuffing falling out. And when I looked closely at it, I could see small blood stains on the back. I did a 360 around the room and stared at Cross coming in relaxed.

"You live here? How can you stand such a...disgusting place!" I exclaimed to Cross.

"Hey, it's not that bad. I can sleep there," he pointed to the couch, "And I can leave there," he directed his finger to the door. I had never known that Cross Marian was such a relaxed man. He took off his hat, placed it on the arm of the couch, and laid down. Then, after a few minutes he put on his hat again and got up.

"I'm gonna go get a drink," he groaned, "Just don't kill anybody." He waved me off and walked out of the door, remembering to duck through the doorway. I stood, muted, watching him leave. I could definitely kill someone. I could trash the place, if it was possible to ruin it more. I could run away. But, for some reason, I didn't. I sat down on the worn sofa and put my head in my hands. I just sat in the silence, trying to remember myself instead.

"_Your father died in a plane crash. He was needed in China for an emergency meeting with your mother. We are very sorry," they were programmed to tell me._

"_Your mother will be coming back for the funeral in a few weeks," they were programmed to tell me._

"_Everything will be alright," they were programmed to tell me._

_I wandered around my own house like a stranger for what seemed like forever. I went around, and around over and over again. And then at night, I would lie in bed. Not sleeping, just lying in the silence. I would sometimes feel my dad kiss me on the forehead, say good night, and hold my hand. He wouldn't say anything else. He would wait beside me until I was asleep and then leave, close the lights and walk away content. But he wasn't with me anymore. _

_The next day, my governess told me that I had a phone call from my mother. I instantly darted to the phone, dying to know what was happening. She handed me the phone. Why was I shaking? _

"_Hello, mother," I greeted first._

"_Hi there, sweetie. I'm coming home next week. And..." she paused, "I'll be coming back with someone else. Just, keep taking care of yourself and I'll be back soon. Bye!" She hung up before I could say anything else. The tone resonated through my ears after the call. It was cold and empty. She was coming home with someone else. And even though she didn't exactly tell me who, I had a creeping thought in mind. I held my stomach, feeling like someone had just punched me. My dad had died on a plane crash visiting my mother for an emergency meeting. And I had an idea of what the emergency was._

_Betrayal. Lies. Fault._

_Mother was supposed to come home late at night. The servants wouldn't let me go see her arrival. They locked my door so I couldn't see her when she came in. They wouldn't let me see her until the next morning. But they forgot to lock the windows. And I was determined._

_I wasn't an adventurous girl. I didn't take risks. I was always in my little bubble, caught up in the world of having everything done for me. I looked out of the window and the long way down. It was dark, so I couldn't see much. I was lucky. There was a full moon out and it barely illuminated the ground. I was only on the second floor, but I was already shaking. There wasn't anything nearby outside. Not a tree, or rock, just bare ground. My mind kicked into action. I had been schooled ever since I was 4. I had no athletic ability, but I had everything in my room to use. I was just glad it was a big window._

_Carefully, I brought my matress and threw it down, hearing the thump from the drop. I dropped five more blankets in the same position and a few pillows just in case. I could die. But I didn't care. I could hear my heart in my head. Mentally, I knew that this was crazy. I should follow my orders and wait until the morning. But by then the lies would be set in place. And I would live on not knowing the truth. I couldn't wait. So I jumped._

_The impact was hard. I landed right where I wanted too, but the shock was still jarring. It wasn't all physical. Some of it was mental. I had changed. I didn't move for a second, still a bit confused how I was still alive. It was planned and well calculated. But actually doing it was completely different. I felt a thrill. I had much more ahead of me._

_The plan was simple. Just find my mom and see who her little guest was. Except that I had to stay hidden the whole time. I tried to stay as silent as possible, but it was hard to see where I was going. I was afraid that someone was going to see me. I didn't even care that I was alone, at night, outside. I stayed close to the walls of the house. As I reached the corner, I saw a car parked outside at the front of the house. It was black and stopped right at the entrance. I knew it was my mother._

_She came out of the car looking as elegant as ever. Her black hair was tied up in a bun with loose strands hanging around her face. She wore a black dress that reached her knees and a silver belt around her waist. But I wasn't looking at her. On her arm, a young, well-dressed man followed her. His hair was slicked back and on his ring bore a single, heavy gold ring. I hated him. They walked into the house, not noticing the girl spying on them. I spent that night, outside, alone in a forest nearby. It was cold. I hugged my knees as I cried._

_Betrayed. Lied to. Lost._

I woke up with a start from a loud door slam. I was hugging my knees very tightly. Marks were on my skin from my very own fingers.

"Hey! You! Get off my couch! I'm going to sleep now," Cross yelled to me. I quickly got off of the couch and watched him stumble onto it.

"I had a good time drinking. It was nice. How was your night?" he asked dumbly.

"I sat on the couch in silence," I answered quietly.

"That's good. That's good. You can sleep on the floor here," he pointed to the ground. He laid down and looked at me. I think that's when he remembered who exactly I was. "You didn't kill anybody," he smiled. "Here. Take my coat as a blanket and," he tossed me his coat and a pillow lying on the couch, "this pillow. Stay away from the corners, that's where all the mice are."

I nodded and followed his orders. It wasn't comfortable on the floor. The floor boards were loose and cracked. But it was much better than the night in the forest.

"Good night, Kumiko," I heard Cross cry out. He closed his eyes and I immediately heard a soft snoring. He was already asleep.

"Good night, Cross," I replied quietly to him, closing my eyes for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I hope you enjoy! And reviews wouldn't be all that bad either ;). Oh right, I do not own D. Gray man in anyway whatsoever, though I do sometimes wish i did.**

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**Chapter 3**

The sun was just rising when I woke up. I light shone through the tiny cracks in the walls. Cross' jacket was pulled tightly over my body and my head lay resting on the pillow. I got up, throwing the jacket off me. It was colder than I thought it was. My eyes open slowly, almost willing me to go back to sleep. But I must wake. There was something I had to do. I forced myself to stay up. Cross was still sleeping on the couch, one arm hanging off the edge, snoring away. I took his jacket and laid it over him. If I was cold, then he must've been too. I stepped out of the door carefully. The sun blinded me. It was right at that point. In my eyes, the sun was out from the horizon line. I wasn't sure which town we were in, but it seemed like everyone was asleep. I closed my eyes, still able to see the burning red from the sun. How did Cross do it? I could remember now. Not everything, but enough to make my mind swirl with emotion. I was supposed to be forever loyal to the earl. He was the one who saved me from my darkest the depths. The one that relieved me of that life and brought me one that I could be satisfied with. And used with. But I was happy with the pain.

I changed into my akuma form, finally remembering what it was like. It was like being alive again. That was right. That other life was the past. This was my life now. I kill. And I enjoy it. I shared the same roof with my enemy for one life. I had been so foolish, not using that opportunity to kill him. I looked back into the building now. He was still there. Lying on the couch, looking worn out from the night before. I should kill him. I should. I really should. I stare at my hands, a monster's hands some may say. I couldn't go back now. So why should I? I was about to charge into the house, ready to attack. Spill blood. Make death. But suddenly, I felt my brain cringe. I dropped to my knees and heard a shattering ringing in my ears. The red was back, but this time it wasn't the sun's red. It was mine.

_I felt utterly exhausted when I woke up. I was in my own bed instead of the dirty, forest ground. I was still wearing my clothing from the night before, there was dirt all over them. I ignored the filthy feeling and got out of bed. My limbs felt sore, meaning that they didn't pick me up until morning. I walked over to the window. Locked._

_Nobody came to pick me up all morning. I guessed that this was my punishment. But I remember what I saw and it was much worse than this. My mom and that man together, stepping out of that car hand in hand. Her betrayal to our family, to my father. The "emergency" that had caused my dad to take that terrible plane flight to China. The plane flight that crashed. And my dad's death. All her fault. All her fault. All her fault._

_I crept back into bed and pulled the cover over my head. I refused to eat any food that day. At night, I heard a slight knocking on the door. The door was actually locked already so I couldn't get out. There wasn't any point of knocking if I couldn't answer the door. I heard the lock click and the door opened. It was my mother. My disgusting, terrible mother. My eyes widened when I saw her, then I quickly turned away. I couldn't bear even looking at her._

"_Hi, sweetie. I'm back! Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked innocently. She placed her hand on my back, trying to comfort me. I noticed that there was also a ring on her ring finger. It was large, and gold. Just like the other man's._

"_Don't run away from me again, sweetie. You could've got hurt. How could you even think about jumping out the window? Do not ever do that again. You have a great life in your own house. You are a very lucky girl you know," she continued softly. She put her arms around me, as if she was hugging me. But it didn't feel like a hug at all. It felt like she was choking me, even though her arms hung loosely around me. I screamed. _

_She immediately let go of me. And I stopped screaming. I don't know why I screamed. Maybe because I hated my mother hugging me. Or maybe I was afraid to be lured into her trap again. I would never trust someone ever again. My mother slowly got off the bed and backed away. I didn't say anything to her when she left. My arms found their way to my knees again as I hugged them close to my chest. I started rocking myself back and forth. I think that's when I became crazy._

_The next few days I spent in confinement. They were all a bit worried for me. I had gone through some traumatic things that would take time to get over. What they didn't know was that I would never get over it. Finally, I was let outside again. I didn't realise how good fresh air could be. I felt like I could actually breathe again. My mother watched me from a window inside. When I looked back at her, she wasn't smiling. _

_I hadn't seen the other man for a week now, and I was getting confused. Where was he? Was he being kept away from me? I walked through the hallways to the kitchen. I let my guard down. I passed by the man that I hated. It looked like they thought that I was stable now and could roam through the house freely. They didn't restrict the man to only a few rooms at a few times anymore. They were very wrong. _

_At the sight of the man, I freaked. I lunged at him a clawed his chest. I bet my eyes looked wild and mad. Like I said, crazy. I beat my fist into his stomach and felt something crack. I broke one of his ribs. Good. I continued to attack him with all my might. The man tried to resist without hurting me. He held me at a distance, but I could still reach him. My arms wouldn't stop. I couldn't control my rage and I went all out. The man looked battered. I was young, but old enough to enforce pain. Suddenly, pain knocked me hard in the head. The man had stopped being nice. He had punched me in the face, releasing blood. It was a burning flame that made my eyes water. I caught sight of my blood splattered across the beautiful floor before they dragged me away. The blood was bright red, still fresh from my face. It was almost like a warning. I let myself be taken away, suddenly feeling very heavy. My eyes started to droop and then all I could see was red. Not from the blood. But straight from me._

Cross stood leaning on the door, arms crossed. He was slightly smiling as he made his way over to me on the ground. I was shaking badly.

"Why are you in your akuma form? You're so much prettier in your human form," he grinned at me. I forgot that he was a womanizer. "What's wrong? You look...red."

I froze. I felt red. LIke I was drowning in my own blood. No, my own memories.

"I-I'm fine. I just, it's difficult. I am still an akuma. And I want to kill," I replied slowly.

Cross looked at me with his head tilted to the side.

"Kill, huh? I advise you not to do that. Because if you do, I'll have to release your soul."

"Why didn't you do that already then?" I exclaimed, staring at his smug face. I would never understand him. Was he trying to make me go through all the pain of remembering?

"Ask yourself that question," Cross said quickly and strode back into the motel.

The red was still there, but more faded now. Ask myself that question. I want to die, don't I? I want my soul to finally be free. I want to be free. But maybe, maybe I still have something I need to do. The red was gone now, and I felt fine again. I settled back down in my human form. I took a step forward toward the sun. It was high in the sky now. I took a look back at the old motel with Cross inside. I moved closer to the light. If there was something left that I had to do, I had no choice but to do it. I ran to the sun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Sorry for the shorter chapter. I sort of wanted to have some sort of cliff hanger. Thanks for reading!  
**

**Chapter 4**

I didn't look back. Somehow, I knew where I was going. Just for today, today I would be just like a regular person. I would completely forget my past. I would completely forget Cross. I tossed my short hair back and made my way to a thrift shop.

I came out feeling completely refreshed. I wore a short, black jacket with a black dress that reached my knees. I decided to cover my hair with a black cap, my bangs still falling out. I smiled to myself in pleasure. This was what a regular person would do. I took a short walk to my next destination, the flower shop.

_Lilacs. Roses. Lilies. Orchids. Daffodils. And Violets. I loved Violets._

I shook my head violently. I would refuse the memories for today. I took a step into the flower shop and let the scents fill me. I smelled the strong roses and the subtle lilies. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. The store was bright and filled with people. I immediately felt self-conscious with so many people around. What if I acted up and turned back into my akuma form? What if I couldn't control myself? I could hear the Earl's voice in my head.

"Grow, grow, grow! Kill as you like, my akuma. Have fun!" he had said. He waved a slight goodbye and released me to go.

"Can I help you?" the store attendant startled me. She was young, most likely in her 20's. She had deep brown hair that hung over her shoulders. She had large, kind eyes that reminded me of my father's.

"Uh, yes," I managed to stutter. My voice sounded lighter than usual. "Do you have any..."

_I loved violets._

"...violets?" I asked quietly. She nodded my head and leaded me to the violets. I caught my breath when I saw them. How long had it been since I looked at flowers? They were beautiful. The colour popped out at me first, then the sweetness that I felt from the scent.

"Thank you," I said and reached out to touch the violets. The small petals were smooth along its long stem. I smiled silently to myself.

"Are there any other flowers that you would like to see?"

"Yes..."

_Lilacs. Roses. Lilies. Orchids. Daffodils._

"Do you have any lilacs, roses, lilies, orchids or daffodils?"

She laughed. "Well, that's a lot of flowers. Yes, we have all of them. Would you like me to arrange them for you?" I nodded. "What are these for anyways?"

I paused. "Yes, thank you. And... they're a gift. To my dad."

"Okay then. Let's get these wrapped up for you," she said with a smile, "Come, let's arrange them together. Tell me, where do you want the violets to go?"

We walked together to the counter where the arranging was done. She expertly got out the wrapping paper and and got out the flowers I requested. Quickly, she arranged them onto the paper and looked at me expectantly. I took the violets from her hand and put them dead in the centre, taller than the rest of the flowers.

"That's exactly what I would do. Your dad will love this bouquet!" she cheered. I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"By the way, it's Yumi Nakamura. Here's my card if you ever need some more flowers," she handed me her card, "What about you?"

"Kumiko Child," I said softly and took her card.

The graveyard was a solemn place. I walked in slowly, carrying the flowers in my arms. It really was a beautiful bouquet. The roses lined the edges while the lilies, lilacs and daffodils took up the structure. The orchids stood tall with the violets, but the violets still stood taller than the rest. I looked around at the surroundings. There weren't many people there. It was still early in the afternoon and I could already feel the heat beating down on me. But I took my time and walked around the whole graveyard. I didn't know which one was my father's grave. I knew that this was the right cemetery, that much my memories told me. But his name always seemed to blur when I saw the gravestone. I closed my eyes, willing for the name to come back to me.

_It was raining. The rain beat down on my hard. The pitter patter rang in my ears, trying to tell me to go. Telling me to run back home. No, not home, that house. I was touching a gravestone, tears streaming down my face. _

"_You're the only one left, dad. Everyone else, they're all liars. But there's always you, dad. There's always you," I sobbed and fell down. I ran my fingers over the carving. My eyes turned up, but the name was blurred once again. I looked around me, the trees were swaying in the wind. To the side, a small sign caught my attention. _No Loitering. _My eyes seemed to scan the area. There was a bright red house in the distance. The gate was right next to it. And the grass was yellowed and poorly planted. The sun slowly peeked out from behind the clouds._

I opened my eyes and immediately ran to the front of the cemetery. I had saw that sign when I first walked in. I made my way down the first row, looking at the gate that stood close to it. And if I squinted hard enough, a red house came into my sight. I ran hard, huffing along the way. The grass was growing more yellow as I passed by. I realized that it was the large trees hanging from above that made the grass weak. Patches of grass became less frequent. My heart quickened as I raced down the line. I reached the end of the line. I still didn't know where the grave was; I needed more. I silently sobbed to myself, holding my arms near. Then the sun led the way.

My heart stopped for a second. The sun shone perfectly down and landed on a single grave. Well, maybe not exactly one grave. But it seemed like that to me. Instantly, my memory recollected. This was my father's grave. This was my last connection to my dad. I knelt down and went through a regular prayer for him. Next, I placed the flowers in front of the grave. I would make a shrine for my father. I just needed to remember more. I didn't glance at the name yet. I was waiting. I'm not sure what I was waiting for, but I needed reassurance. Something. I heard a rumbling from above. More people were streaming out of the graveyard. It was going to rain. The clouds opened fire like a bucket being poured. I was immediately soaked and feeling cold. It was strange. Mother nature was on my side. I reached out my hand and felt my father's name at last. I smiled in the silence, the rain beating down hard on me. I hoped that the rain would mask my tears.


End file.
